"'Necessary' Words?"

 

“’Necessary’ Words?”

 

After a series of events some years ago I made a difficult decision which didn’t please a woman who was known for her frequent complaints. She told me she had to say something about it to which I responded that she chose to do so—no one had forced her to. Later on by God’s grace the situation had a positive outcome showing that “…all things work together for good to those who love God….” (Romans 8:28, NKJV, emphasis added).

One of the leaders in a church we served would sometimes say, “To be brutally honest….” or an equivalent phrase. While Scripture calls for us to “…put off falsehood and speak truthfully….” (Ephesians 4:25) it further states that we’re to do so with kindness (“Be gracious in your speech.”—Colossians 4:6, TM) and in love (“…{speak} the truth in love….”—Ephesians 4:15). Centuries before Solomon had warned, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1). I shudder to think of how many times I’ve failed to follow this sage counsel leading to some ugly results when I should have prayed as David did: “Take control of what I say, O Lord, and keep my lips sealed.” (Psalm 141:3, NLT).

Our Lord’s brother calls on us to be “…quick to listen, slow to speak….” (James 1:19, emphasis added) and Solomon reminds us that there’s “…a time to keep silent and a time to speak….” (Ecclesiastes 3:7, emphasis added). So how can I know if I should open my mouth or keep it shut? Maybe I ought to start by asking myself (and God), “Is it necessary to say this?” If I’m not sure here are a few guidelines to follow:

*Is it true? If not that ends the dilemma right there (Exodus 20:16).

*What’s my motivation? To make me feel or look superior (Psalm 12:3)? To have others conform to my personal standards (Matthew 7:1-2)? To help a brother or sister in Christ grow in their faith (Romans 15:2)? Or help bring the church to maturity in faith (Ephesians 4:11-13)?

*When God’s given me His answer may I speak and act with loving concern from Him to His people (“Whoever loves God must also love his {brother or sister}.”—1 John 4:21). Then “…(I’ll) pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another,” (Romans 14:19, NASB).

 

Grace and Blessings!

Jim McMillan