"A Personal Testimony"

“A Personal Testimony”

Three decades ago I went through a ministry crisis which left me devastated and prompted me to think seriously about another line of work. I became angry and negative toward those who I believed had wronged me which made life difficult for my family as well as myself. While in these throes of bitterness someone gave me cassettes on the subject by Charles Stanley which among other things showed me I was hurting myself (not to mention Karen, Dave and Kristie) far more than those toward whom my bitterness was directed. It took some time (far more than it should have) for God’s truth to sink in but eventually I saw (as Joseph had in his struggles centuries before) that “…God intended it for good….” (Genesis 50:20) to teach me what I’d never have learned otherwise.

Paul had addressed the need to put off bad speech and adopt words that build others up for the benefit of all in Ephesians 4:29. As he moves on he addresses the underlying attitude which brings on harsh utterances: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32). Warren Wiersbe observes that bitterness is “…a settled hostility that poisons the whole inner man.” This described me to a “T” and grieved the Father, Son and Spirit as the inward soon manifested itself outwardly. Through my own prayers as well as those of others and the love and counsel of Karen and close friends God brought me to the place where I put off bitterness and put on forgiveness (literally extension grace or undeserved kindness). But it was the reason I was to do this that got me between the eyes: “…just as in Christ God forgave you.” (emphasis added). It’s as if God said, “I’ve forgiven you from so much. Who do you think you are holding a grudge against someone else?” I then asked Him to forgive me and make me forgiving, something I still pray about daily.

These events of thirty years ago raise their ugly heads occasionally but I’ve learned to combat these attacks with a dose of the “think list” of Philippians 4:8. If anyone reading these thoughts is dealing with past circumstances which keep gnawing at you I urge you to learn from my testimony and let God deal with the situation (and you). Remember His words: “…This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21).

Grace and Blessings!

Jim McMillan