"Love Language"

“Love Language”

 

In 1995 Pastor and Marriage Counselor Gary Chapman wrote The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts which became a New York Times best seller. His thesis is that each of us primarily responds to love expressed to us in one of five ways: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Dr. Chapman maintains that understanding another’s “love language” (especially one’s spouse’s) leads to stronger relationships and greater marriage stability. Each of us would do well to prayerfully consider how we can best show our love to our husband or wife as well as to those close to us (“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”—Philippians 2:4).

In a recent message at our church Dr. Chris Owens of Southeastern University challenged the congregation to think about what God’s “love language” is—in other words, how we can best express our affection for Him. While there are many ways we can serve Him and others (“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”—Galatians 6:2) Jesus summed it up best when He said, “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” (John 14:15). So I believe it’s fair to say that God’s “love language” is the submission of His followers to His desires.

The Scriptures give numerous blessings growing out of His people’s obedience including being His treasured possessions (Exodus 19:5), prolonged life (1 Kings 3:14), contentment (Job 36:11) and answered prayer (1 John 3:21-22). Conversely, the Word gives warnings of the consequences of disobedience (see Deuteronomy 28:15; Ephesians 5:6; 2 Thessalonians 1:8). So it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out that heeding God’s words leads to better living than not doing so.

But is it the good things we get or the ill effects we might suffer that’s our primary motivation for doing what God says? If so we’ve missed the point of Jesus’ words because not long before He had said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37). Put another way, we’re to love and obey Him because of who He is. That’s the “love language” He understands best. Am I speaking it to Him?

 

Grace and Blessings!

Jim McMillan

"Drainout"

 

 

“Drainout”

 

An NFL Head Coach suddenly resigns his position even though his team has done well under his leadership. A high-powered CEO steps out of his role despite his company’s profits while he was at the helm. And a successful pastor leaves a thriving church and the ministry. In each case the reason given was burnout. Psychologist Herbert Freudenberger defines burnout as “…a state of fatigue or frustration brought about by devotion to a cause, way of life, or relationship that failed to produce the expected reward.” It usually occurs among those who want to be the best but fall short of expectations, both their own and those of others.

Since we associate burning with fire which normally flares up quickly and burnout happens over a period of time perhaps it’s not the best term to describe the condition. But is there a better one? I believe there is. In her excellent devotional book Jesus Calling Sarah Young calls this phenomenon drainout because those so afflicted have allowed people and circumstances to continually deplete their resources. Without replenishment and refreshment physically, emotionally and spiritually they become like a reservoir which becomes tapped out without a constant influx of a fresh water supply. Sadly, many (maybe including the three men cited above) don’t realize it’s happening until they’ve hit bottom. At one point I was almost there, but with the help of friends, Christian counseling and especially Karen’s steadfast support God “…lifted me out of the slimy pit…he set my set on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” (Psalm 40:2).

As He always does Jesus provides help. He invites us, “Come to me, all you who are wearied and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). The Greek word for rest means renewal or refreshment (a paraphrase might be, “I’ll recharge your batteries.”). And in his times of struggle the Apostle Paul could say, “…We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away (i.e. experiencing drainout), yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” (2 Corinthians 4:16). We can experience the same restoration as he did by being in God’s Word (“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly….”—Colossians 3:16), prayer (“…pray continually….”—1 Thessalonians 5:17), and being with God’s people (“They devoted themselves…to the fellowship….”—Acts 2:42). As we do, drainout will become history and we’ll be “…filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:19).

 

Grace and Blessings!

Jim McMillan

"Broken Pieces"

“Broken Pieces”

 

One of the most familiar of Jesus’ miracles is His feeding of the 5000. (It’s the only one recorded in all four gospels.) At the end of Matthew’s account we’re told “…the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over.” (Matthew 14:20). The same phrase is used for the seven basketfuls remaining after Jesus fed 4000 people on another occasion (Matthew 15:37). So when God is at work everything, including broken pieces of bread, has value.

In a recent devotional in Our Daily Bread Elisa Morgan told of Japanese women who picked up remnants of china after the devastating 2011 earthquake and made them into jewelry to provide income for them and their families. So something worthwhile and beautiful was made out of broken items to meet needs during a trying time.

King Solomon observed, “(God) has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). And this includes each one of us. So He looks beyond our warts, failures and sin and sees us as lovely and objects of His delight (“…The saints…are the glorious ones in whom is my delight.”—Psalm 16:3). Bill and Gloria Gaither put this thought to music in two of their songs. In “I Will Serve Thee” they write, “Heartaches, broken pieces, ruined lives are why You died on Calvary.” And in “Something Beautiful” they say, “All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife, But He made something beautiful of my life.”

In an episode of the 1994-2003 TV series “Touched by an Angel” Monica is speaking with a man she was sent to help. When he told her his life was messed up beyond repair she responded, “God can put any life back together, but we must give Him the pieces.” He invites us to come to Him with our weariness and burdens (our broken pieces) and “Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.” (Matthew 11:28, The Message). When we do so He can reassemble us and (in the Gaithers’ words) “make something beautiful of my life”. But I must allow Him to do it—and so must you. Remember, “God…is faithful.” (1 Corinthians 1:9) and “…he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6).

 

Grace and Blessings!

Jim McMillan

"Second Chances"

“Second Chances”

“Second Chance Points” is a basketball term which refers to points scored after a shot is missed and the ball is recovered by the same team, giving another opportunity to make a basket. It’s an important part of the game because the more attempts at the hoop the better the possibilities of scoring, which increases the odds of earning a victory.

God brought this sports’ phrase to mind recently while I was driving to a hospice event. I was listening to Chuck Swindoll as he described Paul’s and Barnabas’ discussion (read argument) in Acts 15 surrounding whether or not to take John Mark along on their second missionary trip. Paul was against his accompanying them because he had left them early on in the first journey but Barnabas wanted to give the young man a second chance. When their differences couldn’t be resolved they parted company. Fast forward about twenty years. Paul is imprisoned in Rome awaiting execution when he wrote to his protégé Timothy, “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.” (2 Timothy 4:11). Barnabas’ encouraging spirit had paid off and Mark became a valuable asset to Paul as well as the entire church as the author of the gospel bearing his name.

Our New Hampshire Youth Pastor, Paul Pack, often spoke of our Lord as “The God of Second Chances”. By this he meant He doesn’t give up on us when we blow it but is ready to accept us when we come to Him in faith (“The Lord…is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”—2 Peter 3:9). Maybe Peter had Jesus’ words in mind as he wrote when after he asked the Lord if it was enough to forgive someone who sinned against him seven times Jesus answered, “…Not seven times, but seventy-seven times (or perhaps seventy times seven).” (Matthew 18:22). In other words, don’t stop forgiving.

In his book Simplify Bill Hybels says, “You serve a God of fresh starts, of second chances, of new days.” So before we write people off let’s be mindful of the second, third, fourth and hundredth fresh starts and chances God’s given us. And remember Paul’s admonition: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, emphasis added).

 

Grace and Blessings!

Jim McMillan