“The Jell-O* or the Mold?”

 

When Karen and I were growing up both our mothers had a number of pans with interesting designs into which they’d pour hot Jell-O for special dinners. As it cooled the gelatin took the form of the pan and when put on a plate made an attractive addition to the culinary delights on the table. These molds are long gone but the memories remain.

I’ve shared how nine men in my family, some young and others older, made great contributions to my life and ministry by their words and examples. In these cases I was the Jell-O and they were the molds. God used each of them in a unique way to teach me and shape my life. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” I thank God for each of these men who sharpened me and pray I’ll never forget what I learned from them.

But when it comes to my impact on the world my role changes from being the Jell-O to the mold. The Apostle Paul admonishes us, “Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mold….” (Romans 12:2, Phillips). So as we grow in faith and become more like Jesus He wants us to be the shapers, not the shaped; the influencers, not the influenced; the molders, not the molded. If we’re not careful we can become desensitized like the frog in the kettle and become like the world God’s called us to change. How do we keep this from happening? Romans 12:2 goes on to say, “…but let God remold your minds from within….” (Phillips). An old hymn asks Him to “Mold me and make me after Thy will….” I want this to be my prayer so I can fulfill His purpose for my life as He works in me.

Thanks—Dave, Nate, Dave, Uncle Al, Dad, Grandpa, Buster, Rick, and Dad—for making a difference and being the molds for the Jell-O of my life. I love you all!

 

Blessings!

Jim McMillan

 

 

* Jell-O is a registered trademark of Kraft Foods

 

 

 

"Standing for Something"

“Standing for Something”

 

There’s an old saying (the origin of which has been debated but never nailed down), “If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything.” I don’t know if he was familiar with this adage, but my father, Lamont McMillan Jr., lived it out and in so doing showed me the importance of sticking by my convictions. He and I didn’t always agree, but we could always talk about our differences without generating more heat than light.

What else did I learn from Dad?

 -Don’t be pressured into quick decisions. Once when someone making a significant request told him he needed a response by the next day Dad replied, “In that case the answer’s no.”

 -Stand for what I believe is right before God. Both of us experienced the “minority of one” feeling which over time He honored.

 -Lead by serving. Dad held leadership positions in several Christian organizations at various times but believed titles were meaningless without actions.

 -Commit for the long term. He and my mother were married for 50 years, he worked for the same company for 45 years, and he served a total of close to 40 years as a deacon in three churches (Brooklyn, Long Island, and New Jersey).

Dad stepped into Heaven on February 23, 1992. Since then my brother Dave and I have said there are still times we’d like to have his input into situations we face. But in a real sense we still do as we remember what he taught us over the years. He wasn’t perfect (neither are we) but he always sought to do what honored his Lord.

The Apostle Paul reminds us to “…live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Ephesians 4:1). Dad saw his life’s calling as serving God in His work but to use the income from his business expertise to enable him to do so as his gift to Him. Well done, Dad! I pray I’ll fulfill my calling as well.

 

Blessings!

Jim McMillan

"Being a Friend"

“Being a Friend”

 

Early in my ministry I was heading out the door to a pastors’ gathering when I received a call from the captain of the town’s volunteer emergency squad asking me to help with lifting a patient into the ambulance. I said I couldn’t do it and headed for the meeting. When I was about halfway to my destination the Lord spoke to me and in effect said, “You blew it, Pal!” As always He was right so when I got home I called my friend to apologize. To my knowledge I haven’t repeated this kind of mistake (although I’ve made plenty of other ones).

Had I known a young man in my church named Rick Jantzen better I probably wouldn’t have acted as I did. Over the years I have gotten well acquainted with him because in 1974 he became my brother-in-law. Rick was a journeyman plumber (following in his late father’s footsteps) who used his skills not only in his employment but in assisting friends and neighbors. He also spent countless hours serving the Lord by doing many maintenance projects in his church, some down and dirty. By doing so he taught me that friendship means, among a lot of other things, being willing to be inconvenienced to address others’ needs. But there’s often the battle of balancing people’s demands and expectations with one’s own “stuff” which isn’t always easy.

I have a plaque on my dresser given by a friend from my teen years which says, “A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.” This is another way of stating the truth of Proverbs 17:17: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Too often “friendship” is based on what we can get rather than what we can give (“Wealth brings many friends, but a poor man’s friend deserts him.”—Proverbs 19:4). Isn’t it great to know that God doesn’t view our relationship with Him in this way (“…There is a (F)riend who sticks closer than a brother.”—Proverbs 18:24)?

Rick, your actions have helped me understand more fully what’s involved in being a friend. May we together heed Jesus’ words, “Now that you know these things (i.e. our ministry and our responsibilities to others), you will be blessed if you do them.” (John 13:17).

 

Blessings!

Jim McMillan

"Behind the Mask"

“Behind the Mask”

As I was getting adjusted to my ministry in Auburn in the late 1960’s I noticed an “older” gentleman (at that time he was about my present age so that word now has a different meaning) who was in the same place as an usher every Sunday. After several weeks I asked our Church Secretary who he was and learned he was her dad and had served the Lord in this way for decades. And since she became my mother-in-law a little more than a year later Lavern Depew came with the package and assumed the role of my grandfather-in-law.

Buster (a nickname given him by my son Dave) was a beekeeper by trade and built a successful honey business. He grew up as an only child and social events weren’t his thing. But while he gave the appearance of being stern and aloof behind the mask he was a man who honored God and loved his family, including an import with a Brooklyn accent. I grew to appreciate him and without his realizing it he left me with some priceless memories and lessons:

 -He greatly valued God’s creation and enjoyed getting out to see it, including driving to Alaska with Tweet (a nickname Karen early on gave her grandmother).

 -He had strong convictions which he consistently practiced (signs prominently displayed at the head of his driveway and on the building housing his business said, “No Sunday sales.”).

 -He had a dry wit which often brought peals of laughter at family gatherings (his comment when political leaders did things he didn’t approve of: “Doesn’t that steam your glasses?” Check the “A Friend Indeed” article for another example).

If I’d based my conception of the kind of man Buster was on my first impression of his outward demeanor it would have been wrong. The man behind the mask was very different from what was visible. I had the privilege of knowing him for 23 years before Jesus welcomed him into Heaven in 1991. To make Philippians 1:3 personal, “I thank my God every time I remember Buster.” I’m happy God used him to show me the importance of getting to know the real person by building a relationship. I pray I’ll never forget this lesson—it has enriched my life.

 

Blessings!

Jim McMillan

"Quiet Godliness"

“Quiet Godliness”

 

I was the first grandchild in my father’s family. Not long after I was born my parents made the decision to purchase a home outside New York City. To speed this process Dad worked overtime to save up for a down payment and my grandparents helped by inviting us to live with them in their large house in Brooklyn when I was 18 months old. During the three years we stayed together I developed a special life-long relationship with Grandpa (Lamont McMillan Sr.). He’s been with the Lord since 1969 but my life was greatly enriched by the 26 years God allowed him to be part of it. My brother Dave put it well: “Few people were so blest to have had such a grandfather.”

What are my greatest memories of Grandpa? Here are a few:

 -His patience (he read to me for hours on end, taught me to tell time, and showed me how to tie my shoes—I still do it backwards as I mirrored his actions)

 -His friendliness (I never knew of anyone who didn’t like him)

 -His sense of humor (my favorite line is his giving the reason for his being bald: “Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street!”)

 -His intelligence (he was a CPA, a career path I planned to follow him into until God intervened)

 -Every summer as we were growing up Dave and I spent a week with Grandma and Grandpa seeing everything worth seeing in the City (we called it our “vacation”—for them it was likely anything but)

 -His quiet service in his church doing everything that needed doing (especially in using his accounting skills in financial areas)

 -In his later years he cared for Grandma as she struggled with the effects of dementia (he even learned to cook)

Grandpa exhibited a quiet godliness and was a great example of character and integrity which I pray others (including his great-great-grandchildren) will see in me. I have been blessed with a heritage of (to adapt the principle of 2 Timothy 1:5) “…Sincere faith, which first lived in my grandfather Lamont Sr. and in my father Lamont Jr….” (Dad is the subject of the last article in this series). I pray that this same faith will be seen in me until God takes me Home.

 

Blessings!

Jim McMillan